Saturday, December 2, 2006

Super Villain Horoscopes


Possibly the first mutant and easily one of the most powerful mutants to ever live Apocalypse was born over 5000 years ago in Ancient Egypt. There he was given the name En Sabah Nur which appropriately means "The First One" and linked with an ancient prophecy that fortold of a great conquerer who would gain dominion over the entire world. Spurred on by a vision of the Egyptian god Seth telling him to become a great conquerer, Apocalypse plotted the conquest of the planet through bringing about wars and conflict, in which the strong would defeat and destroy the weak.

Darkseid, lord of the planet Apokolips, is an evil demi-god who seeks to obtain power over all life. He is an incredibly powerful being, possessing near godlike abilities. Essentially the only limit to his abilities is his willpower. For example, he is capable of moving entire solar systems by force of will alone, but while doing so he would not have the focus to perform other acts. Always protective of what he considers to be his, Darkseid is notoriously ruthless in his punishment of trespassers. He claims to have destroyed all those who were found on Apokolips without his permission.

Sinestro was once the greatest Green Lantern that ever lived. Quick and inquisitive he had the skill to take on any crisis and was also known for having the most orderly sector in the cosmos. However, behind the guise of protector, he was misusing his power and forcing the inhabitants of his sector to worship him as a god. Incriminated by the testimony of Hal Jordan, he was imprisoned but swore vengence upon his captors. Sinestro battled Jordan on various occasions and showed a great understanding of psychology as he sought the upper hand by using a barrage of verbal assults to blindly enrage him.

Infamously known as the unstoppable creature who killed Superman, Doomsday is the ultimate survivor who is driven into action by his intense raw emotions. Like the time-hardened shell of the crab, Doomsday's indestructable body is an adaptation formed as he was killed hundreds of times and then cloned from his own remains - essentially speeding up the natural adaptation process. His genes also retained the pain and trauma of hundreds of brutal deaths as intuitive memories which ultimately caused him to turn on his creators in complete rage.

The Joker is a suprisingly charasmatic homicidal madman. As Jack Nappier, he was an intellegent but unstable gangster with a desire to rule Gotham's underworld and a dilusional sense of prominance in the criminal empire's hierarchy. A fall into a vat of chemicals permanently altered his body giving him a clownish appearance and shattering what little sanity Nappier had. As The Joker, he maintains a high public profile seeking t.v. and newspaper headlines so he can bask in the glow of his own shocking behavior. He has even taken over the airwaves with pirate t.v. feeds to address the public at large.

Victor Von Doom is the son of a gypsy woman who rose to power and became ruler of his own country. Along with Reed Richards of the Fantastic Four, Doctor Doom is a super genius considered to have one of earth's most brilliand scientific minds. He has shown an uncanny ability to invent new technologies and is considered highly knowledgeable in both quantum physics and metaphysics. Taught the occult sciences by his mother, Dr Doom is considered proficient at mid-level magic, however he prides himself on his scientific abilities.

He was the only member of his family to survive the Nazi concentration camps but the powers that spared him lead the KGB to burn his home and kill his child. Magneto still hoped to use his experience to help others and he worked as a psychiatrist councelling fellow survivors of the holocaust.  With the opportunity to bring about justice directly he became a double agent for Israel and an unknown Western Power hunting down Nazi war criminals. Betrayed by superiors who killed his girlfriend Magneto swore to protect mutantkind by enslaving mankind whose fear would never allow peace

The immortal Thanos of Titan has two obsessions. The first is amassing personal power, primarily for the purpose of his second obsession; his love for and eternal worship of the cosmic entity Death. To prove himself worthy as Death's consort, Thanos was given the task of destroying a third of all sentient life in the Universe. Looking for a way to carry out his charge and augment his own power he discovered the six Infinity Gems. Once they were gathered as the Infinity Gauntlet , he obtained (for the second time) God-like omnipotence and complete power over reality.

Originally a space explorer named Galan, who was born on a world whose civilization is said to have been the most advanced of any in the known universe , Galactus is the sole survivor of the previous universe. Transformed into a cosmic being that needs to consume  worlds inhabitted by sentient beings, Galactus has suppressed his sympathy for those sentients and, knowing himself to be a higher kind of being, is willing to destroy their lives to continue his own. Moreover, he is aware that he is meant to one day give back to the universe infinitely more than he has ever taken from it.

Lex Luthor is a Machiavellian industrialist and white-collar criminal genius. For a brief period in the early 2000s, he was president of the United States. Obsessed with Superman's destruction and world conquest, persistence has made him Superman's most troublesome foe. Still, Superman himself acknowledges that Luthor is a man of his word who honors promises he makes. He was even revered as a hero on the alien world of Lexor, where he used his scientific genius to rediscover the planet's technology and rebuild society, but an ill-fated attempt to kill Superman lead to Lexor's destruction.

The brilliant Brainiac was originally a renegade Coulan scientist named Vril Dox who was disintegrated for attempting to overthrow the Supreme Authority. However, his mind remained intact and traveled to Earth, where he possessed the body of Milton Fine.  Brainiac was an alias already used by Fine who, it was discovered, possessed telepathic powers of his own.  Under his mental domination, Lexcorp scientists restored his Coluan form. The diodes in his head now increased and stabilised his mental powers, as well as allowing him direct access to computer servers and control over computer networks.

The entity known as the Phoenix Force fused with Jean Grey out of a subsconscious desire to save her teammates. Emerging from areas of her mind previously blocked off, Jean Grey was consumed by the Phoenix Force and became Dark Phoenix.  Hyper empathic and emotionally unprotected, her psyche was subjected to the mental and emotional state of all those around her.  As Dark Phoenix she possessed incomparable telepathic and  telekinetic powers and was able to rearrange matter at the atomic level.  In the end the duality of the Phoenix and Jean Grey seperated  again.

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